he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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