she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
