So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
