I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
