I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
