You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can you bring me the toilet please
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
