I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
