We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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