you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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