Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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