Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
A+ Viking dick
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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