Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
