i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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