So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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