awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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