can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
