some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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