It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
