I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
