Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
