but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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