Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
