I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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