it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
