There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
