it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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