drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
