So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
