I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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