I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
