dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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