If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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