well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
