He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
