I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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