And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
