i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
