I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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