Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the condom got lost in my hair
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
