just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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