loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
