So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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