he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize