Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
