my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
