he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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