Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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