Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
