There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
