if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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