I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
