just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
