Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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