We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
