Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
