WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
