Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize