That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
