i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
