After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
