Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
