No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
