This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
