Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
