omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
