I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
