508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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