I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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