I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
