for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize