The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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